Category Archives: Rants

Elfen Lied (I can’t call this a Review)

So, I originally wanted to review this thing because I didn’t like it and I wanted to make that clear. For the sake of a fair review I  decided to pick up the manga again, from the start even, since, as you may or may not know, the anime is without conclusion. Or at least, not nearly the one the manga had. Because of that, so that I could judge the story in a fair, objective way, I picked it up again. So, while reading this piece of horse shit, I was slowly realizing that I couldn’t possibly review this in a level headed way. In the light of that, I will open up a new section here. This will be a Rant. I won’t bother structuring this, and I won’t bother trying to be objective.

There are things that make me furious. Elfen Lied is one of them.

I’ll start off with what pissed me off the most. If you have to draw a manga, frickin learn to draw. As someone who works his ass off to get better at drawing, it infuriates me to see this “manga” even being published. Facial features are all over the place, many panels lack a background and worst off all, ever heard of different angles??? There are exactly three ways Okamoto draws people: front view, side view and head. Don’t believe me? Look at this lovely collection:

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Yeah. I cropped that out of not even 5 pages.

The point I am trying to bring across is this: No one would publish this crap. Now, you might say “Well, the story is just so good, it was published although the art sucks.” To which I say, bullshit. The story is crap. It’s such a cheap cop-out.

So then, next one, I hate the author. I mean, seriously, this whole thing was never intended as a statement or anything, but as a piece of idiotic fanservice. Same with Brynhildr. Look at it, it’s the exact same thing. Just look at it, those girls are naked and have cat ears. Anyone who tries to interpret anything into this crap is an idiot. It’s not possible to make a point out of being as violent as possible. Not happening. And just for fun, let’s say there is. There are manga much more violent out there than Elfen Lied.

This manga, and the anime of course too, is intended as nothing but cheap shock and fanservice. Meaning, a boob and a flying head. Now give me my bag of money, I created a masterpiece.

Last but not least, I hate the fanbase. People seriously think it is anything more than mindless violence. “well he had the guts to not censor it” He frickin censored it. With Sound effects. That is so cheap.

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And for those who still think this manga was intended as something serious with a message, look at this:

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There. He said it himself. Yet still, whole armies get killed off without those shitfaced Diclonius getting a scratch. If it’s so easy, ready 50 of those and shoot at her. Boom. Problem solved. No need to use millions of taxes to keep those things under lock.

Now, for the end, please don’t get me wrong. The reason I hate this so much is because people make it out to be something it is not. If it was made crap and stayed crap, I would have passed it up as crap. But sadly it’s not so easy. Instead, I have to listen to those shit-for-brains fanboys who praise it to the heavens for being a masterpiece.

I’m not sorry if I offended you.

You probably haven’t even read the manga, which, for what it is, is still better –and finished- than the anime. So, if you like Elfen Lied for what it is, splatter and nudity, go right ahead, just don’t tell me it’s anything more.

I could probably rant on for a few hours, but I’m too lazy to write it and you won’t care to read it.

So thanks for your time, if you want to lynch or praise me, go right ahead, comment here or send a tweet @ nolazyway

Thank you and have a nice day.

Bonus content, learn what Elfen Lied actually means:

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